Write for My V Matters - 'cuz yours does too!

So after a lot of dragging my feet and hemming and hawing, I have finally decided to move on from writing this blog.

What was the clincher? My uterus. I was doing a mind body meditation in which I was chatting with my body and seeing how it was doing and noticed that my uterus was kind of dull and drained. I checked in with it and asked how I could help, and the answer was loud and clear: "Give up the pelvic pain bandwagon for cryin' out loud! You've got one foot in, one foot out, you don't really want to keep doing this, and I am so over it." Since my uterus is the queen of my creativity, I heeded her advice. And immediately felt more energized.

Sometimes no amount of brain thinking gives me the immediate clarity of physical wisdom. 

I have closed my Yoga for Pelvic Pain MeetUp group, and notified another organization that I won't be available to teach for their patients this spring. I withdrew from a pelvic pain workshop.

And it feels GOOD.

* * *

What of this website though? I've worked so hard to make My V Matters matter, isn't that worth something? I don't want it to become one of those sad, abandoned blogs...

One option is to thank it for its service and kill it off, but I wanted to give you, oh wonderful community, a chance to keep it going.

I got this idea from another blog: writer rotation. Rather than remove the blog or leave it as one of those dreadful inactive ghost blogs, I would have another woman take over writing responsibilities for a year. My old posts would stay up, and readers would benefit from another perspective. At the end of Writer #2's year, she could commit to another year or pass the torch.

What is the benefit to you? I learned so much from forcing myself to write consistently on this topic. It encouraged me to be more active in looking for outside resources, and has also been a great tool for self-reflection, confidence-building, and learning to be more loving with myself.

Interested? Here's what I'm looking for in a second writer:

  • Tone: I would like to keep the tone of this blog the same: honest about the challenges v pain presents, while still being hopeful and positive. We want to uplift readers, not bring them down!
  • Content: I have written a lot about spirituality and the emotional side of v pain, but you would be welcome to take it to a more technical or science-y place if that floats your boat! As long as it is about v pain and your experience, that's cool. Also, I have chosen the written word as my primary medium, but you don't have to: you could provide poetry, video, music, visual art, etc.
  • Your writing background: You don't have to have any special degree or background in writing, but it would be great if you enjoy writing and can write clearly, without spelling mistakes or grammatical errors (unless done on purpose for creative expression of course!) 
  • Images: *Any and all images would of course have to be legally obtained,* ie your own or used with permission (no copying and pasting stuff off the web.) I learned how to use Canva (the free version) to create images for each post. You could use Canva as well, or provide your own imagery: drawings, photos, whatever.  If you are really opposed to images, it's not a deal breaker - maybe we can redesign to site to make it look good without an image for each post.
  • Frequency: I currently write once a week and post on Wednesdays. You do not have to keep the same schedule, but I would like you to commit to completing at least 12 posts (ie one a month), preferably on a consistent schedule of your choosing. Of course, this is a hobby and not a job, so you might not hit that target, but I would like you to at least be aiming for one. (I don't want someone to pump out 15 posts in a week and then do nothing for the rest of the year.) Part of what creates community, and the personal growth benefits of writing, is consistency and showing up. :)
  • Money honey! I pay an annual fee to Squarespace for hosting the blog and the use of their tools. If I am to pass the reins onto another writer, I do not want to keep paying this fee. If you are willing to take on that cost yourself, awesome, but if you are not able to than perhaps we can set up a donate button or pass the hat somehow? You don't have to be able to front the money yourself, but I would require a willingness to help me problem-solve that issue.
  • General Awesomeness: Since you and I would be working together to make this happen, it would be cool if you are generally awesome: respectful, responsible, creative, someone who would be great to work with on our little two-person team, but also someone independent and committed enough so that I can step back knowing that the website is in good hands.

 

If you want to write for My V Matters for a year, please let me know by February 1st, 2016, and write a sample post and a paragraph about why you'd like the gig by February 15th, 2016. (That will give you enough time to write a post, but if no one is interested I'd rather know sooner rather than later.) Start time is negotiable, but I am thinking that you would be taking over by March 1st. You can get in touch through the contact page.  

Til then, to a happy pelvis!

 

 

Blogger Buddy Time!

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Last week I got to do something AWESOME.

After a year or so of email correspondence, I finally got to meet Sarah, the blogger behind When Sex Hurts There Is Hope. Yay! She was in town visiting friends, so we got some lunch and walked around Lake Merritt.

Even someone as public as I am about v pain still has a hard time finding other women willing to identify themselves as being in the same boat. Given our cultural context, v pain brings up enormous baggage: boatloads of shame, fear, and lots of other yucky stuff. Better to just shove it back in the closet and ignore it, right?

So I understand cognitively why there is so much silence, and I understand on a gut level because of my own personal experience. I took me a looooooooong time to open up about this topic.

But ya know what?

Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.
- Brene Brown

So when two women get together for something as simple as a chat, they are actually being amazing revolutionaries at the same time. (How's that for multi-tasking?)

Let's face it, it took Sarah and I heckuva lot of time and effort in the personal growth department to make that little lunch possible.

I am so proud of us!!!!!!!!!!

I love Sarah's blog because she and I have the same aim: to be truthful about the real, significant, and deep challenges of v pain while still being, as her blog title notes, hopeful. But of course her site is also completely different because it's being written by a different person having different experiences. I encourage you to check it out - she has some awesome posts coming up! 

 

Support the Revolution! ChronicBabe 101 Book Coming Our Way

Hopefully you are already familiar with www.ChronicBabe.com, a website dedicated to helping young women with chronic illness build fabulous lives. I've re-posted and commented on some ChronicBabe posts in the past.

Founder Jenni Prokopy is putting together a book based on over ten years of running ChronicBabe, and she is using Kickstarter to fund it. Kickstarter is an "all-or-nothing" platform, so hop on over, even a buck will help: 

Donate to ChronicBabe Kickstarter Fund!

Like all Kickstarter projects, each donation level gets a 'reward,' a thank you for your contribution. Unlike other projects that require you to lay out big bucks to get a reward, Jenni's rewards start at yes, just a buck, so no excuse not to chip in!

Deadline is Friday March 27th, but you'll totally donate right now, right?

If you don't already get Jenni's weekly blog/vlog posts, sign up here.

 

Is chronic illness good?

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This post was inspired by a recent, awesome, thread on ChronicBabe.com, which you can find here. It got tons of comments, and comments on comments, so I highly suggest that you go check it out!

The instigating question: is there any way chronic illness can be viewed as a good thing?

My two cents:

1. Chronic illness = Bad. 

2. Response to it = your choice.

Over my years of sickdom, I started out thinking "Chronic illness is evil." Then when I saw all of the positive changes in my life I made due to illness, I thought "Gee, I guess chronic illness is a blessing in disguise."

I ended up in this most recent paradigm when I realized that there is a difference between chronic illness and the response to it. 

All of the infinite "blessings of chronic illness” came from me: my decisions, my actions, my changes. The illness itself has never-ever-ever produced the tiniest bit of goodness.

When I used to say "Chronic illness has destroyed my life," I disempowered myself. By remaining in resistance, I left myself a victim with no hope.

When I used to say "Chronic illness has made my life better," I again disempowered myself. By attributing the positive change to the wrong source, I glorified suffering (bad idea!) and failed to recognize my own strength, power, and love.

Now I say ”I have responded to chronic illness in a way that has brought me many, many blessings,” and so I empower myself. Not only do I recognize all the work that it has taken to get this far, I recognize that no matter what life throws at me I can again respond in a way that benefits me. 

Is my life better due to chronic illness? Hell no. 

Is my life better due to my response to chronic illness? Hell yes. 

The famous saying does not go

“When life hands you lemons, be grateful, because they will magically become lemonade.” 

Nope, that lemonade ain’t gonna make itself. And so we say:

“When life hands you lemons, MAKE lemonade.”

Whether you choose to or not - is entirely up to you.

 

Blerg

Hey all,

Due to a number of unforeseen circumstances not related to pelvic pain, I arrive at this Monday exhausted and emotionally drained. Such is life, sometimes.

So as to not tire myself further, I am cutting back on my list of things to do today, including writing. I hope the brevity of this post will serve as a reminder that we all need a break sometimes, and that it's okay to take one - you're not alone.

Be good to yourself!