More Good Times

My husband and I wisely tacked on a few extra days to our trip, so we could be together after my in-laws had returned home.

This was a great idea.

We got to connect and have some quiet time to recover from the hustle and bustle of family before we returned home. We had originally planned on staying in Miami, but on a whim drove an hour south and spent the weekend in Key Largo. It was our first time in the Keys and we had a great time, snorkeling, kayaking, splashing in the hotel pool, watching the sunset, and singing the Beach Boys "Kokomo" ("...Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go to the Kokomo...")

Here's another postcard I picked up:

And here's a gorgeous image I snapped of, believe it or not, the cover of the Florida Keys Visitor Guide in our hotel room (I wish I remembered to write down the artist's name!) I find the colors and texture of this painting so inspiring and beautiful. It makes me grateful for art and artists.

Thank you artists.

The time in Key Largo gave me time to reflect on the trip, and made me realize how far my husband and I have come from the deep and dark times of the pain days.

As much as I would never wish chronic pain on anyone, I am so grateful to myself for making lemonade out of this big kahuna of a lemon. I have learned so much about myself and life, way more than I could write here in this one post.

Within this post I can say that all of these lessons have brought me to a place where I can enjoy time with my in-laws, an area of life that is a struggle for many married folks. I am grateful for that.

Again my dears, there is light, there is hope. While pelvic pain is all bad, it's effects don't have to be. You have the choice to create beauty out of the misery you are in.

Much love...

Good Times

Hey all! Last week's posts were inspired by a trip to Florida with my in-laws. This week I thought I would share some images from the trip and thoughts I had, for funsies....

Here's one of the postcards I sent out:

We started out in Orlando cuz the in-laws had to hit up the theme parks and the outlets. Theme parks and shopping? This is exactly the kind of trip I would  never take. But as my sister says, we have family so we hang out with people we never would otherwise, so off I went, determined to go with the flow and have tons of fun.

And gosh darn it I did. 

I screamed on the roller coasters, stared in awe at penguins and dolphins, and went on every ride at the water park. I made up fairytales featuring my niece and her favorite Disney princess, Cinderella, as the heroines. I ate my weight in candy, and went along to the outlets and happily got some great finds.

It was really great having an opportunity to be with my in-laws in an energetic and happy, pain-free state, something I have (almost) never experienced.  This trip was even more fun than my first trip with them - before I developed vulvodynia - because I have grown so much and become a much stronger, more relaxed person. 

I share this to let you know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, that you too can heal your body, mind, and soul. Pelvic pain won't necessarily be around forever. Keep truckin', darling.

Good things await!

Visiting with My In-laws

Visiting my in-laws is a whole different story than visiting with my family. Whereas my family is reserved, my husband's family is Brazilian.

You can imagine the culture clash. 

My in-laws only met me once before I developed vulvodynia, so they never got to meet athletic Faith or overachiever Faith or actress Faith or loud Faith. They instead see foreigner Faith, quiet Faith, exhausted Faith, and sunburned Faith.

I find it challenging to be around my in-laws because as Brazilians they have endless patience for people. Family get-togethers, late night dinners with friends, even buying toothpaste - everything is done in a group, the larger the better. As a non-native Portuguese speaker, the cacophony of voices that accompanies every activity makes it difficult for me to follow the conversation and quickly exhausts my brain.

Whenever I am around them I feel like a party pooper.

* * *

How have I dealt with pelvic pain with this troupe of loud, loving, social people? By clamming up.The same technique I used with my family, but for a different reason.

In my family pelvic health is personal and therefore confidential.

In my husband's family, such information is legitimate grist for the lightning-fast family communication network.

If I told one person about my pelvic pain, EVERYONE would know: not only my in-laws, but also cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and the cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents of the cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents.

Family friends and their families would know. The barber would know. The car mechanic would know. 

And I would be mortified.

This news-spreading is a national past-time, and in no way would my family mean to harm or embarrass me. Folks simply want to know how everyone is doing, and I have yet to discover a topic that is out of bounds.

So, while I have allowed my family to think of me as lazy, uncooperative, or a disappointment, I get the impression that my in-laws think of me as a weird American, a fragile being from a strange world where solitude is something enjoyable. 

In my early trips to Brazil I tried to attend every activity, but over the years I have learned to ask for time alone, and my new family has chalked up this bizarre request as a cultural difference. 

Being brave enough to pipe up and ask for accommodation, even if it is attributed to culture clash rather than health problems, has helped me a lot in handling the overwhelm of being in pain while in a different family, climate, culture, and time zone.

* * *

These days my pain is gone and my energy levels are up. Maybe some day I will adapt to Brazilian customs, but for now I am happy that I chose to retain my privacy, and even happier that over time my in-laws will get to know the new me: Healthy & Happy Faith.