Messy

Messy.

Life can be very, very messy.

It's been a really rough year (oy) and this fall I am stepping back to reflect. Many pieces of my life are being tossed up in the air - who knows where they will land. What am I about and what the heck am I doing? Am I who I really think I am? Are these priorities really my priorities?  I am feeling lost and frustrated and fed up.

But at least I'm not fighting it anymore. I'm surrendering to the craziness.

While I am still happily teaching my Yoga for V Pain classes, amidst this nuttiness I have given myself permission to pull back from my other v pain ventures. (For instance, you may have noticed that the text for this blog no longer appears in your email, instead there is just a link. That is not intentional! I have been banging my head against a wall since August trying to fix it - but instead of pressuring myself to get it right, right now, I only bang my head for a limited time each week, and then step away and accept the imperfection of technological glitches. Until the next week, when I try again.)

I am sifting through my commitments and pulling back and saying no to some things, and stepping up in other areas.

Gardeners and farmers know that s**t makes the best fertilizer. I am trying to remember that. Some of the worst times in my life ultimately put me on a better path, so hopefully that will happen here too!

So much of my dissatisfaction in life comes from resistance to what is happening (and often, the pace at which it is or is not happening.) There always seems to be some insidious bar against which I am measuring myself and my life, a bar that will constantly morph so that the results of my measurements are always the same: "not enough."

I mean really.

(I am rolling my eyes at it now.)

Stepping back, it is silly that I fall for that stupidity so frequently! And yet I do. So here I am, pulling back. Looking at the stupid bar and wondering if it belongs in trash or recycling.

I hope wherever you are this week - mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually - you are being gentle with yourself. Happy Fall!

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PS Did this post get your brain gears crankin'?

Feel free to start a conversation below (it's okay, you can be anonymous)!