Gettin' yer sexy on...Yes, it's possible

Highly relevant post over at ChronicBabe.com this week!

Jenni answers a great question from a reader, "How can I learn sexual confidence in spite of my illness/disability?"

I hope that her answer will be of use to you. I found it very encouraging since it reminded me of the fact that pelvic pain sufferers are not the only folks challenged with creating rewarding sex lives. Yup, it affects other folks with chronic illness, and let's face it, pretty much any human being.

Sexuality is about the whole person, not just the parts.

Remember to read the comments to see additional resources suggested by the awesome Chronic Babe community, and hear about their challenges and successes. 

Here's to a randy weekend!

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A note on the heart graphic:

One of my Women's and Gender Studies friends in college told me that the heart symbol evolved from a stylized depiction of a woman's vulva, viewed straight on, with her lifting the top two corners to show it off. I have no way to verify this, but I love the idea of replacing the heart's sappy innocence with something brash and carnal. It makes me smile a subversive smile whenever I see them...Rowr!

Using Distraction to Handle Flares

Blerg. The flare-up continues. Thankfully the good thing about having a flare right now is that the holidays offer plenty of distraction!!

Sweetie Pie and I spent Saturday night feverishly writing notes and addressing 50+ Christmas cards. Those are done and out the door, but a few special folks will also be getting custom ornaments, which still need to be glittered, addressed, and mailed.

Glory be we are hosting a party this year - so many opportunities for funsies!

It's for the staff at the yoga studio where I teach; it's a wonderful, sweet, close knit little studio in downtown Oakland, but all year we are like ships passing in the night, everyone popping in to teach at different times.  

Our little community has grown quite a bit over the past few years, going from one room to two and doubling the schedule. We've grown to 36 teachers teaching over 50 classes a week! There's also a team of four bodyworkers and a bookkeeper, graphic designer/web wizard, etc, who help keep our studio going. I am super excited to see old friends and meet new folks who I only know through our frequent email requests for subs... and love that we get the opportunity to meet each other's families and loved ones.

My fellow yoga teacher and friend Karen and I are organizing it. She's putting together the craft project and playlist, I am providing the location, invitations, beverages, and of course, decor.

It's less than two weeks away so I am in full party mode. Invitation design (pretty ones from Paperless Post!) Beverage menu planning!  What decorations can I put up that won't overtake the precious table space needed for the craft project? Where can I find cute name tags?

The combination of creativity and planning all in the name of fun and growing community makes me so happy. Prepping is just as awesome as the event itself!

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"Whoa Nelly! How do you do this without it making the flare worse?"

Well darlin', I accounted for all of this activity back in early November when I was creating my holiday plan, so it's not a stressor. I carefully plotted out my priorities and this was one of them. I didn't expect to be in a flare when I was making said plan, but in this case it's only provoked pain instead of unprovoked ("only," ha), so I'm not totally out of commission. 

Instead of crying on the couch, I am living my life, using my strengths, and growing my gratitude muscle.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to keep truckin'.

Patient Interview on Blog About Pelvic Pain

Hey all, in the spirit of encouraging community, I thought I would share this great post with you from Sara Sauder, PT, DPT at Blog About Pelvic Pain: 

Interview with Julie

Thanks to Sara and Julie for sharing! Reading about other people's experiences helps me get through my own.

Setbacks Suck

I was planning on writing about the science behind the positive effects of gratitude today, in light of Thanksgiving. Something chipper and cheery.

Life doesn't always go to plan, eh?

Yesterday I was happily riding my bike, in jeans. Yeah!

Today, after ill-advised intercourse, even after sitting on ice packs I still hurt. I am kicking myself. It is so hard to take care of two tiny spots on my vestibule that are saying "No thank you!" When the rest of my body is screaming "HELL YEAH!!!!!"

I am right smack dab where my husband was a couple of weeks ago. I know intellectually that catastrophizing starts a domino effect, releasing stress hormones that make things worse. I know this flare doesn't mean I will go back to the bad ol' days, or that my future will remotely resemble that time.

But it is hard to be accepting and positive when I am actively in pain.

UGH.

My emotions have been all over the place this morning, but have landed on anger. This is bullshit!

I have been stomping around the house and listening to Katy Perry's "The One that Got Away" over and over again - something about that wailing "oh-wa-oh-oh-oh-oh-ne" feels right. Sing along with me!

Lordy.

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incongruous PS: Happy Thanksgiving!

no post on Friday because I will be enjoying the holiday :)

Diagnosis by Triangulation: Flare Update

I wrote about a flare-up a couple of weeks ago.

After a flurry of doctors' appointments and tests with my neurologist, gynecologist and physical therapist, as far as we can tell the pain is stemming from neuromuscular aggravation and some dryness.

As is typical for my pelvic health history, it was diagnosis by triangulation - using input from multiple health professionals to rule out various possibilities - and come up with the most likely scenario.

I'm now waiting for the compounding pharmacy to make me a new batch of topical estradiol, and will resume some gentle stretching and relaxation techniques that I've learned from my PT.

My gynecologist and I use a compounding pharmacy because the standard estradiol creams use a number of unpronounceable chemical ingredients as a base. To avoid the possibility of the base making things worse, I get my estradiol in a base of my choosing, in this case, organic shea butter. It takes longer to get since the pharmacists make it to order, but it is worth the wait. Not only do I greatly reduce the risk of irritation, but if my skin does get irritated it will be much easier to find the culprit with only two ingredients to consider (estradiol and shea butter) instead of ten.

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Notice how all of the actions I am taking are based on educated guesses. My neurologist, gynecologist and physical therapist all wish that they had one straight answer for me, but that is not how the human body works. 

As a result, I assembled my treatment plan using suggestions from different sources: the estradiol cream from the gynecologist, the exercises from the PT, and I'm monitoring my symptoms for my neurologist to see if any of my medications may be involved.

As my PT reminded me at our appointment this morning, the best thing I can do is proceed calmly and without catastrophizing. Hopefully in a few weeks this will pass on over and I will be feeling just ducky in no time. 

Quack, quack.