Easy Research Participation Opportunity!

 

 

There's a new opportunity for women with v pain to participate in research!

No travel or time in the stirrups required. It's an online questionnaire from the same folks who brought you the VPAQ (and is indeed a followup to that study.)

Most of you are probably eligible to participate:

  • you must have regularly experienced pain in your vulvar/genital region for at least six months
  • be fluent in English
  • over the age of 18
  • have access to the Internet

To fill out the survey hop on over to the Queen's University Sex Lab info page. (I wanna work at a place called "Queen's Sex Lab." How awesome is that?) And you can follow them on Twitter, @qsexlab.

It's an easy peasy way to help advance much needed research on this topic. So go ahead, make your voice heard!

Yoga for V Pain Classes! AWESOME

I will be teaching a dedicated Yoga for V pain class this fall in Oakland and I am so excited!!! It's been a long time coming, but I finally found a good venue at good time and a decent price. Live locally? Check it out!

Why will this class be so totally awesome?

  1. Discretion! I am renting a studio, not operating under their umbrella, so the class title won't be on their schedule anywhere. The studio is on the third floor of the building and the main ground floor entrance leads to another business as well (a women's clothing store) so people won't know why you're walking into 1635 Broadway. Maybe you just want an awesome new dress or are taking some other yoga class, amirite?
  2. EVERYONE will have some kind of v pain, so you can ask all your v pain questions in a safe, confidential space.
  3. It's a series! We'll have five classes to dive not only into anatomy but also a variety of yogic approaches that you can both practice at home or use to modify other classes you take.
  4. It's a series Part 2! That means it will be the same group of women each time. You don't have to be brave enough to meet new people every time, just the once. It'll be like a book club for your vagina...
  5. Come as you are! V health is so glaringly overlooked in yoga classes that it doesn't matter if you are a newbie or a seasoned practitioner, you will learn something new and awesome.
  6. Come as you are Part 2! It doesn't matter if you have a diagnosis or not. Show up and we can help point you to resources you may be lacking.
  7. Beautiful space! We will be at Barefoot Movement, all hardwood floors and high ceilings and original windows. There are mats to borrow (no charge) if you don't have one, and plenty of props to use for what a colleague of mine's 3 year old daughter calls "cozy yoga." You'll see why...
  8. Convenient time! 7pm Fridays, but not all in a row so it won't mess up your social calendar...
  9. Free street parking after 6pm, across the street from the 19th St BART station, and close to many bus lines.
  10. Finally meet some other women dealing with this crap and have a good laugh and a good cry and eat some chocolate already!

You can learn more at my website faithcornwall.com, or head directly to my MeetUp group to sign up. $75 for 5 classes (that's $15/class, on the low side of average for the Bay Area.) Handouts will keep you caught up if you miss one!

Be there or be square!

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PS Did this post get your brain gears crankin'?

Feel free to start a conversation below (it's okay, you can be anonymous)!

Say It

Victory! This past weekend I was totally validated for my Facebook post of last August, in which I announced the birth of this blog and thus the existence of my own history of v pain to what felt like an uncomfortably large sum of people.

At the time it made me feel soooo vulnerable, but I now have evidence that putting myself in that super-uncomfortable position paid off.

I was at my 10 year college reunion this past weekend, and I ran into an old friend of mine. He told me that he has been trying to refer a friend to this blog (which he heard about on Facebook, wink wink), but she's so upset about her v pain that she hasn't been able to bring herself to check us out. 

Yes, it sucks that she is struggling, but on the plus side she knows where to find us if she ever wants to reach out, AND how amazing is it that she has a friend who is has already heard of v pain, is comfortable talking about it, and is cheering her quest to get better (she has found a PT who is helping!)?

The fact that my Facebook post, as vulnerable as it made me feel, could facilitate someone I have never met having a supportive friend walk beside her during a miserable time made me feel so good. (It does help that Josh is freakin' amazing already.)

At the reunion I also got a chance to chat with a biology professor conducting research on vulvodynia and the immune system with funding from the NVA (again, I was referred to her by someone who had seen my Facebook post.) She said that her students are always nervous when they start to work in her lab, but after a while they would get the hang of it: terms like "vulvodynia" and "vulvar pain" are soon no big deal.

These two experiences reminded me of the (freeing) power of communication and the  (oppressive) power of silence.

Our future potential progress on finding treatment and care for v pain depends completely on our ability to communicate about it.

Staying silent is understandable. We don't have pre-existing ways of discussing this topic comfortably and we have major cultural baggage around it and it's many cousins. But if we stay silent, we will never build the communication structures we need and life will continue to suck for us and millions of other women. 

So...

I challenge you to push your boundaries and communicate about v pain in some way that is new to you. If it's too scary to think of telling someone else about v pain, start by communicating with yourself. Here are some ideas to get you started:

  • Draw a picture.
  • Make a self-portrait. 
  • Write a poem.
  • Make a movie poster for a documentary about v pain that could happen some day.
  • Make a list of all the women you know who have been affected by v pain.
  • Write about what you wish your medical care experience was like.
  • You could even post about it on Facebook ;)

Over time you can build up to talking with other people. If you are not ready to tell them your personal story, you can always share information about v pain itself - how it is an important women's health topic that affects many and is being brushed under the rug, etc.

And if you still think all of that is too scary, I ask you this: is it scarier to talk about v pain, or to live in a world where no one talks about v pain and millions of women and their loved ones suffer as a result?

I mean really...

 

 

So. Happy talking and art-making and communicating! It may seem small, but what you are doing is actually quite bad-ass. Who knows who you may help in the future...?

 

 

 

 

 

 

What do you want from this website?

In my last, pre-vacation, post I proposed the idea of starting a private Facebook group or other online forum. I want this website to be about building a positive, supportive community rather than being a platform for a single voice, and I figured that was the best way to go about making that change. I invited you to contact me if you were interested.

None of you responded.

Is there perhaps some other direction you would like to see this website take? Another way to build community here? Would you like to contribute posts, be an editor for a section, help with web design...?

When I started this blog I wanted it to be what wasn't there for me ten years ago - a place with quality information and education as well as a vibrant, hopeful, community. I wanted to know that I wasn't alone, to connect with other women as well as resources to help me get better.

I figured that I would learn from my readers about how specifically to do that as I went along. But y'all have been pretty quiet. I'd love to be able to do more and make more for all of you, but I don't know what that is without your input. 

So I humbly ask, what would your ideal v pain support website look like? What do you want to see here? How can I reach you and make this relevant?

I have tons of ideas about what I could do, and lots of information to share, but unfortunately I lack the technical skills to make many of those happen any time soon. For instance, my current host Squarespace makes it very easy to build a site but doesn't provide a robust way to save it; missing this foundation, I don't want to put tons of effort into work (such as learning how to make and upload quality audio or visual interviews, or finding a way to accept payments so I can pay a third party to host a forum) that I could then lose.

In order to execute many of my ideas, I would need some kind of financial support, either by turning this into a business or non-profit. But I can't do any of that without knowing who it is I serve and what they need.

In short, this website has TONS of potential, but it ain't gonna get nowhere without a little love from you, ma cherie.

So holler at me and let me know how to make this thing work - I want to hear first and foremost what you want and need from the website. Interviews with researchers? Doctors? Complementary care providers? Articles about the biology of pain, spirituality, family life, how to have a sex life? Articles about anatomy and research? Dealing with insurers? There are so many directions this could take!

I would also like to hear what skills and talents you can lend to make your vision happen. Would you like to get paid to build this community, as an employee or freelancer for a business or non-profit? Do you know anything about building a movement around a taboo topic, accounting, web design, writing, research? Could you, would you, be a mentor or advisor or board member? If we can dream it we can do it.

* * *

As it stands, there are a lot of us suffering in isolation. If we can find a way to connect to each other and make our stories and voices heard, we can create change not only in our own lives but also within the medical profession and society at large.

I would like to live to see the day when v pain is as commonly discussed and researched as breast cancer. Once upon a time that too was a squeamish topic mostly avoided, and think of how much worse our lives would be if that had never changed.

All over the world women are stepping out and discussing and making change in so many deeply painful areas that used to be shrouded in silence: domestic violence, miscarriage, infertility, addiction, abuse, rape, sexual harassment.

V pain is yet another frontier in which we are being called to teach the world and ourselves how to respect and value female bodies and experiences.

So take a few minutes to think and dream about the support and knowledge you wish you had, and to reflect on the skills and bravery that you already possess, and tell me what you come up with. I look forward to hearing it!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Any interest in a Facebook forum?

One of the features I would really like to have on this site sooner rather than later is a forum, a way for you to connect with each other. I have looked into various ways of doing this, but for many reasons (time, money, lack of technological expertise) none of them are going to happen any time soon, with the exception of a "Closed" Facebook group, the most private of the three Facebook Group options. (You can learn more about the levels of privacy Facebook offers groups here.)

Would anyone be interested in joining such a group? If so, let me know where to find you on Facebook - I can't start one without people to invite to it.  I also would like to know what you are interested in in terms of ground rules for the group. What guidelines would make this space safe and appealing? (You can respond in the comments below if you would like to start a conversation, or contact me privately here.)

If you aren't interested in a Facebook group, but would be interested in some other type of forum, please let me know why Facebook wouldn't work for you and why the other option would.

I know that all of you have knowledge and experience that is just sitting there waiting to be shared and leveraged! If there is some other way that you would like to participate in some kind of group support, holler at me.

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PS Tomorrow I am headed out of town for three weeks of much needed vacation! Woo hoo! I don't plan on writing unless the spirit moves me, but I will be watching my inbox, so if folks want a Facebook group I can probably toss that together on the road.